The Dilemma of Being a Leader

This past weekend I watch a 2-hour documentary on President Truman. (I sometimes watch Nerd TV with my husband.) Truman's story was really interesting to me because he was a person of seemingly little talent that would make him stand out, yet he made it to the post of president. He didn't seem to want it that much, and his wife Bess seemed to totally detest the role of first lady.

He ran into some tough times, with having to make the decision about dropping the atomic bomb on Japan and running up against General MacArthur about the Korean War. At more than one point, he had his head in his hands and made a statement that a thousand other people would make a better leader than he was. Then, he would shore himself up and realize he was the leader, and he would make the best decision he could.

At the same time, I'm reading the book called JFK AND THE UNSPEAKABLE: WHY HE DIED AND WHY IT MATTERS by James Douglass. This book delves into JFK's relationship with his joint chiefs of staff and the military leaders and what kind of precarious situations he found himself in with them. The interesting part is that he looks at JFK through the perspectives of Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk who was writing letters about the world situation at the time.

The book details JFK's state of mind and principles during the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis. It is so scary to see the huge burden that rested on the president's shoulders at these two moments in history--moments that could have changed all of our lives forever. I admire the stands that he took, or at least that this book says he took. It takes great courage to be a good leader.

I think these two stories have been an encouragement to me about being a leader. I am a leader, yet I tend to shrink back from new opportunities for leadership because I am afraid I will not have what it takes in moments of crisis. Perhaps this is a lack of faith; perhaps it is that I know myself and stress. I hate to make decisions that will seriously impact the lives of others. In those moments, I think about working in a gas station, McDonald's, anything that does not seem so momentous.

Yet, I want my life to count for something, to be significant. I think what these two stories showed me was that these two guys WERE afraid and wished they were somewhere else also, when the going got really rough. What made them good leaders was that they did not quit at those times. They realized they had to go forward and make the best decisions they could. They often did so knowing that there would be consequences of some kind. They had to accept those too.

I hope I can take these learnings with me into my life--whether it be leadership at home, at work, in relationships.

Books beside my bed

Here are the titles of books currently by my bedside:

JFK and the Unspeakable (just started)
Hokey Pokey: Curious People Finding What Life's All About (done)
Lateral Thinking: Creativity Step by Step (reading)
Landmarks: An Ignatian Journey (reading)
Franny and Zooey (have not started)
Editors on Editing (been reading for a while)
The Memory Keeper's Daughter
The Mermaid Chair
Safe People
Internal Family Systems Model (finished)
With God in the Crucible (finished)
Eat, Pray, Love (reading)
Rabble Rouser for Peace (reading)
Mockingbird
Growing Souls
Mosaic by Amy Grant (finshed)
Run by Ann Patchett (finished)
Orbiting the Giant Hairball (finished)
A Primitive Heart by David Rabe (finshed)
Sacred Tracks

So maybe I should get a bookshelf . . .

Failing

I'm pretty sure I blew all the 3 simple rules today that I talked about in my blog yesterday. I did harm, I didn't do good, and I didn't stay in very close touch with God today. Circumstances seemed to shake me like a rag doll today. I feel completely wrung out and without virtue. Help me, God.

3 Simple Rules

I've been reading and praying with a little book lately that has helped me. It's called Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living by Rueben Job. Rueben is one of my spiritual heroes; he is a retired bishop in The United Methodist Church and used to be World Editor at The Upper Room. He has a quiet, holy presence--like someone who knows how to get quiet enough to hear God speak. He's one of those people with whom you just feel loved when you're around him.

I read his simple little book (just 78 pages) in preparation for hearing him speak a few weeks ago. I was intrigued with how simple the message was and yet how difficult the message is to live out. The three simple rules, according to John Wesley:

1. Do no harm.
2. Do good.
3. Stay in love with God.

He writes about each one, and what he thinks each one means. At the back of the book are simple outlines for morning, midday, and evening prayers. I've mostly just been remembering the morning prayers. But it has been kind of amazing to me how this little routine turns my heart Godward.

I've used Rueben's Guides to Prayer for about 24 years now--hard to believe. I go in and out of seasons of using them, but they are so helpful to me. Some scripture to meditate on each day, a few quotes from spiritual writers through the ages, a few words from Rueben, a guide for my daily prayer.

This little book is small enough to carry around in my purse, so it is right there when I have a few moments to read something; it helps me focus on God. Most days, I need all the help I can get!